April 20-26th Week 11- A Love letter from God

My Child, You may not know me, but I know everything about you. Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up. Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways. Psalm 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. Matthew 10:29-31

For you were made in my image. Genesis 1:27

In me you live and move and have your being. Acts 17:28

For you are my offspring. Acts 17:28

I knew you even before you were conceived. Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation. Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. Psalm 139:15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14

I knit you together in your mother's womb. Psalm 139:13

And brought you forth on the day you were born. Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me. John 8:41-44

I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. 1 John 4:16

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. 1 John 3:1

Simply because you are my child and I am your Father.1 John 3:1 

For all your days are written in my book. Psalm 139:15-16

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. Matthew 7:11

For I am the perfect father. Matthew 5:48

Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. James 1:17

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. Matthew 6:31-33

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11

Because I love you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3

My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore. Psalms 139:17-18

And I rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

I will never stop doing good to you. Jeremiah 32:40

For you are my treasured possession. Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. Jeremiah 32:41

And I want to show you great and marvelous things. Jeremiah 33:3

If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. Deuteronomy 4:29

Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires. Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. Ephesians 3:20

For I am your greatest encourager. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. Psalm 34:18

As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. Isaiah 40:11

One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. Revelation 21:3-4

And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth. Revelation 21:3-4

I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus. John 17:23

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being. Hebrews 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. Romans 8:31

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you.1 John 4:10

I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me. 1 John 2:23

And nothing will ever separate you from my love again. Romans 8:38-39

Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen. Luke 15:7

I have always been Father, and will always be Father. Ephesians 3:14-15

My question is… Will you be my child? John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you. Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad, Almighty God

This is not something I put together, but I love it and thought it might help someone else out there! :)

I Have Come To Realize...

1. I have come to realize not everything I've heard (about me) is true.

2.I have come to realize I am afraid of everything-but scared of nothing.

3.I have come to realize I can be my own worst enemy.

4.I have come to realize I have a future- as bright as I make it.

5. I have come to realize evan at my worst, I was better thatn I thought.

6.I have come to realize the only person I can fix is ME.

7.I have come to realize GOD is GOOD.

8. I have come to realize the difference between possible and Im-possible is whether or not I TRY.

9. I have come to realize one step in the right direction brought me face to face with GOD.

10.I have come to realize that happiness comes from learning to enjoy the little things.

11.I have come to realize if I don't like the view, I can look elsewhere.

12.I have come to realize I Can- because I CAN.

13.I have come to realize no matter how far I've come, there is always room for improvement.

14.I have come to realize that I am not stubborn- I AM DETERMINED.

15. I have come to realize I am not arrogant- I am CONFIDENT

16. I have come to realize God can can get me out of stuff I got myself into- but not until I let him.

17.I have come to realize how much easier life is, when you start living it.

18. I have come to realize how Precious my Family is to me-and me to them.

19.I have come to realize the Time is Now...Its never to late to try.

20.I have come to realize I would gladly die for my Kids-So I should glady LIVE for them too

21.I have come to realize the Love you exchange in life is what you always remember.

22. I have come to realize I was not a F * CK-UP-- I was F * CKING up---Its the difference between WHO YOU ARE and WHAT YOUR DOING.

23.I have come to realize God forgave me along time ago--It just took me along time to forgive myself.

24.I have come to realize and believe my life has a purpose- as does every life.

25. I have come to realize that " No Man is an Island" and Everything I do or don't do affects somebody, somehow.

26.I have come to realize that Karma should be something you look forward to- not something you dread- and you reap what you sow.

27.I have come to realize the less I worry about what I WANT and the More I Think of Others Needs First, the Happier I get.

28. I have come to realize too many irons in the fire-will put it out.

29. I have come to realize a person is only as good as their word, so if I say it, I have to follow through and do it.

30.I have come to realize the value of Forgiveness-once I forgive ---I no longer have to hold onto hurt, bitterness, or anger; and if I'm not carrying them around with me, I am less likely to spread them around.

31. I have come to realize that I must strive to be like God so his love and grace can come out of me so people who may not believe or know can see for themselves that there really is something different about this person, and they will just know the truth, God is REAL, God is LOVE, & GOD IS THE DIFFERENCE.

32.I have come to realize people have been drawn to me my whole life and they could never quite understand why they liked me or what they liked about me; and its always been, the Holy Spirit; cause evan though I walked away from God for a while, He never walked away from me.

33. I have come to realize a small change in the present can result in huge change in the future

34.I have come to realize the POWER of WORDS---God Spoke the World into Being---use them carefully.

35.I have come to realize the more I Know, the more I want to learn.

36.I have come to realize silence is golden- when you're not afraid of your own thoughts

37. I have come to realize my best years are still ahead of me-I will get better with age. 
I AM CONFIDENT, BECAUSE I AM DETERMINED.

THE WOMAN IN ME & THE PAIN By Michelle Collier

THE WOMAN IN ME
I Look in a Mirror & What do I see?
The eyes of a Stranger looking back at Me
Which Is the Woman Behind The Glass?
The one Longing For Love or The one Pushing It Past?
~
Feeling So Close ~ Yet So Far Away
At Once It Is Night and Still It Is Day
Look Into My Eyes~Oh Why Can't You See
the Woman Inside the Woman In Me
~
Emotional OPPOSITES Is What We Are
Like Black to White & Close to Far
Cold Hearted Bitch Chases Love Away,
One Desperate For Love Begs IT to Stay
~
A Mirage of Feelings- So Full Of Fear,
Leave the Mind to Disappear on A Tear
Always Smiling Brightly, For My Friends To See
Alone stands the Woman Inside, the Woman in Me.
by Michelle Collier 4 -94

THE PAIN
The Pain
is a million little needles
all puncturing the Skin
Pricking your eyelids; In & Out Again

The Pain
is a heart bursting wide open
Lungs Devoid of Air
Body Starved for Love
that's Just Not There

The Pain
Is the Choice of Death or Life
of Lust or of Love-
Do I go To Hell Below
Or Up To Heaven Above?

The Pain
Is in the Knowing, No Matter What I Do
Never Again Will I Recieve, Any Love From You
I'll Never Taste Your Sweet, Sweet Lips
Or Feel Your Love Divine...
OH God, what a Cold, Cold Hell Is Mine

The Pain
Is the LOVE of a Lifetime
Slipping Away for the Lust of the Hour
White Hot Love~More Precious Than Gold
Lies in the Ashes Broken and Cold

The Pain
Is Looking Toward the Future
and Seeing NOTHING There
And No One Left Who Cares

The Pain
Is Slowly Loading Up Your Gun
Taking one Last Look at your Only Son
And eating the Bullet Of a Small Shot gun.
By Michelle Collier~ 1992
 I wrote both of these in the early '90's after a Serious Breakup.  I did not Kill Myself-hahaha as you can see I am alive and well- I just thought they may help someone else going through what I went through to see that it does get better and 'Life Goes On',  as long as you just wait it out! This too shall pass....

Week 8 March 23-29, 2012- This is my MIRACLE! My True Story!

I was at AA and I met this Lady there and invited her to Celebrate Recovery- Because it is So Good right? Well the week I invited her (before she went), my front tooth just fell out while I was eating some noodles. It was a cap and it fell out post and all. Well it made me sick to my stomach and I was just crying and crying cause I looked like Shit ya know? I mean I only have ten teeth anyhow, but it was like that was a key one, ya now? I super glued it back in and because I believe that my God can take care of me, because in the bible it says he can and will- and to my way of thinking if I don't trust God with it, then I am basically calling him a liar, I started praying and asking him to take it from me because I knew he would provide for me. Any how after the tooth thing happened I invited this gal to come to C.R., and she wasn't supposed to show up because she had a date, but when I got there she was there. I was happy to see her there and she really loved it there. Meanwhile for the next couple of weeks I kept praying and trying to give this situation (about my teeth) over to God and I would get some peace but then I would start thinking about it and I would get all scared and start wondering how "I" was going to get my teeth fixed right? Then I would cry and then I'd remember to give it to God again...Well I did this for about two weeks - one week past when I invited this gal to C.R. & FINALLY I found relief and stopped being afraid and found I really did trust God to take care of my teeth -In the two weeks in between While I was still trying to "manage the situation" I had been to the dentist and been told there was no way they could fix them. I would have to get full dentures upper and lower and they are Expensive-- I had no way in sight to afford them. Anyhow at that point I knew I really would have to give it up to God, and I struggled with it - praying 5-10 times or more a day -Anyhow I finally Got PEACE. Exactly one week - 7 days- after I got peace, this lady whom I had only met like 5x's and who didn't know anything about the teeth situation pulls me aside at AA and goes, "I need to talk to you but I don't want to offend you"...She goes, "you know that guy I am dating?" I said, "yes" and she goes, "he is a dentist"... I go, "really??" She goes, "I talked to him about you, and told him you are on fire for God, and have been sober for a long time and he said he would do your dental work pro-bono, for FREE!!!! ALL OF IT!!" I said "AMEN!! You Don't Even know what an answer to prayer that this is" She didn't even know about my prayers and WOW!GOD IS SO GOOD TO ME!! I had thought to myself when I was praying, God could just make new teeth grow in my mouth if he wanted to and if he did that I would have to tell everyone the miracle I had experienced and to my way of thinking Regardless of how he answered my prayer I know He has answered it. GOD HAS GIVEN me new Teeth! I have my first appointment on the 9th of April and I just have to share with everyone how God has Blessed me!!! I hope it Blesses everyone else too!!

Week 7 March 16-22- The farmer and the sheep

THE FARMER & THE SHEEP
Once upon a time there was a farmer and his wife who lost their son. The wife went to church faithfully, but the farmer refused to go to no matter how often the pastor invited him. One day the pastor went out to the farmer's house to try yet again to get the farmer to come to church. As he pulled up to the farmer's house the farmer was coming outside. The pastor asked him if he had time to talk for a minute and the farmer said he had chores to do. So the pastor asked the farmer if he minded if he walked along and talked with him while he did his chores. The farmer told the pastor that was fine. They walked along talking and the pastor was praying desperately for a way to reach the farmer when they suddenly came to a small river. In the middle of the river was an island and on the island was a mama sheep and her baby. The farmer told the pastor that it had rained recently and that must be how she got trapped. He excused himself, saying he would be right back. He then waded across the river to the island and scooped up the baby sheep, then he waded back across the river and found some nice soft grass and laid the baby in it. The pastor watched all this. Then he asked the farmer a question, "Why did you do that?" Why didn't you bring the mama across? The farmer responded, "if I didn't bring the baby the mother would stay out there and starve to death, because she wouldn't leave her baby, but if you just go out & bring the baby across then the mother will follow. The pastor then told the farmer that is what God did with your son. He knows sometimes the only way to get one across is if the other one is already there.  Suddenly the farmer understood, his son was on the other side, he repented right then and there and prayed the salvation prayer, because like the momma sheep he would not leave his baby!
I know you love your mom, and I know your mom loved you and the fact that she told you that God was the only answer tells me right now she is in heaven, hoping and praying that you will join her there. Do not get me wrong I am not telling you that God killed your mom. He does not kill people. The only reason people die is because sin was brought into this world and along with sin came death, it was apart of our punishment for sin. God has really been putting you on my heart. I pray for you often and I have been looking for a way to share with you how much God loves you. If you need someone to talk to, I am here for you. Please be like that mama sheep who followed her baby across the river, I know that is what your mom would want.   She would want you to live a long and happy life, and to be CLOSE to God.  But it is your choice. Please remember, you will either get bitter or you will get better and your mom would desperately want you to get better. Bitterness will destroy your life, it will lead you down dark roads, roads filled with trouble, heart ache and sadness, this is not the road your mom wants for you. It is not the road that God wants for you but you have to choose for yourself what road you will travel put some thought into it and choose wisely. You are loved. God bless.

Week 6 March 9th-15th

Week 6 March 9th-15th. 
Well, the grades are in, and I am happy to announce that we got an A on our group web page!  It was a bit of a struggle, but well worth the result.  I went to our web page and it looks really nice.  If you would like to go and check it out here is a link: http://comm-15-51945.webs.com   There are quite a few good recipes on this website, feel free to try them out and let me know what you think.  The teacher finally posted the links page on blackboard so we could could send her our link to the website to get our grades. Long story short, my group got 100 out of 100!  Good news on my blog assignment to, the teacher said she would grade from when I started blogging and tweeting and Face booking, because of an error on her page.  So I am happy that I do not have to start all over and get no credit for the last months work.  So all in all, this class is going great!
Tonight I find out how I did on my last Spanish test, I think I did reasonably well on it.  At least I hope I did!   I will find out in about 2 1/2 hours.   I will let you know in my next blog.  I went to the rock and worship roadshow last night.  It was awesome!  It lasted about 4 1/2 hours, and there were a lot of good groups but I have to say Disciple, LaCrae, 10th Avenue North, and Mercy Me were my favorites.  I bought a CD from Mercy Me for only five dollars.   That was a very good deal for some great music!   Today I slept till noon just to catch up on my sleep because I have been very busy for the last week.  This is the beginning of another very busy week! 

Week 5 2/29/12 -3/6/12 AKA March 2nd-8th

Week 5 Feb 29th - March 6th.
Hello again. I have been one busy beaver. I finally got my assignment done for my online communications class. I think it turned out really well, I just hope that all the links work once Scott gets everything put on to the page. I am still not sure how to, or what, to send to the teacher to show her the web page, but I am going to ask around and see if someone else knows, otherwise I will ask the professor! Right now I am still hoping I will be able to figure it out on my own like I did with the posting of the videos! It is more than a little frustrating not having actual instructions on how to do a lot of the class work but I get over that pretty quickly and I actually am pretty good at figuring stuff out on my own. I like the discussion board assignment it gets pretty lively there- but it seems like it would be pretty hard to grade a class like this. So much of what we do is all over the place. I guess I may have jumped the gun on this assignment and on the Fb assignment but that is because the teacher posted two different instructions on the syllabus and on the assignments page on blackboard, and I figured "better safe than sorry" so I started a month early and have been killing myself trying to remember to do the assignments. Its hard cause twitter is everyday, Face book is 3x's a week, Blog is once a week and black board is one post a week and two responses a week- and I have short term memory loss hahahaha. Any how I figure that by starting a month early, maybe I will finally have lodged it in to my memory banks by the time the assignments actually start and I won't forget to do anything! I am aiming for an A in this class! Other than that I have been going to church 3x's a week, and meetings 4x's a week, and taking my daughter, whom I home school, to her math classes 2x's a week and to her Academic Game Plan once a week. And then there is my Spanish Class twice a week, ha ha ha. It is nice to be busy and doing things to improve myself and and to be taking care of my responsibilities. OK see you next week!

Week 5 Feb. 29th -March 6th

Week 5 Feb 29th - March 6th.
Hello again.  I have been one busy beaver.  I finally got my assignment done for my online communications class.  I think it turned out really well, I just hope that all the links work once Scott gets everything put on to the page. I am still not sure how to, or what, to send to the teacher to show her the web page, but I am going to ask around and see if someone else knows, otherwise I will ask the professor!  Right now I am still hoping I will be able to figure it out on my own like I did with the posting of the videos!  It is more than a little frustrating not having actual instructions on how to do a lot of the class work but I get over that pretty quickly and I actually am pretty good at figuring stuff out on my own.  I like the discussion board assignment it gets pretty lively there- but it seems like it would be pretty hard to grade a class like this.  So much of what we do is all over the place. I guess I may have jumped the gun on this assignment and on the Fb assignment but that is because the teacher posted two different instructions on the syllabus and on the assignments page on blackboard, and I figured "better safe than sorry" so I started a month early and have been killing myself trying to remember to do the assignments.  Its hard cause twitter is everyday, Face book is 3x's a week, Blog is once a week and black board is one post a week and two responses a week- and I have short term memory loss hahahaha. Any how I figure that by starting a month early, maybe I  will finally have lodged it in to my memory banks by the time the assignments actually start and I won't forget to do anything!  I am aiming for an A in this class!  Other than that I have been going to church 3x's a week, and meetings 4x's a week, and taking my daughter, whom I home school, to her math classes 2x's a week  and to her Academic Game Plan once a week.  And then there is my Spanish Class twice a week, ha ha ha.  It is nice to be busy and doing things to improve myself and and to be taking care of my responsibilities.  OK see you next week!

Week 4 Feb. 22-28, 2012

Week Four Feb. 22- 28  I am very confused.  I read on one place we were supposed to be blogging already and a different place that were are not supposed to be blogging until March 2nd.  I really don't know what else to do except to keep posting I would rather be safe than sorry.   I guess if we weren't supposed to start until March it would be alright with me because as it turns out, I wasn't posting new blogs the whole time I was just replying or commenting under the first blogs status, so at least I won't be doing that when it gets to grading time!  I am grateful that I finally figured it out and since I did it on my own,  I feel very smart (ha ha ha).  Well I took a test in my Spanish class again today, I think I came close to acing it!  So far I have gotten 46 /52 and 42/42 so I hope I do well.  I really like my class,   It was so embarrassing at first getting up and walking around trying to speak Spanish.  I felt like I was tripping over my tongue the whole time, but then just when I  would be about to give up,  I would finally be able to "get 'er done" so to speak.  Every time I manage to master something it is a very good feeling. I think starting out slowly, with just 2 classes, was the best thing I could do for myself.  I am feeling much more confident and will be ready to go much harder next semester.

Week 3 February 15th-21st

Week 3- Feb. 15-21
Well I am more than a little mad, I forgot to tweet on twitter and ruined my perfect record and thus my perfect grade! That's funny, cause I am actually hoping to do well in this class, but not perfect! ha ha ha. Good news on the website collaboration project- we picked a topic and its something I feel amply qualified to write a page on. I am going to do some videos and post them on youtube tomorrow so they will be ready to use as hyperlinks on my page of our website. I will also be taking pictures and using them to illustrate the text on my page. They should add some color and flavor to the page. I am enjoying the classes I am taking very much and I hope to take more next semester. Talk to you all again next week.

Week 2- Feb. 8-14

Week 2- Feb. 8-14
I am going to have to go to bed earlier from now on, all these late nights and early mornings are too much for this old lady. So I have been doing my online class and it is alright. I think that twitter is pretty fun even if I don't have any followers, at least I can see how it would be fun for today's youth, and the electronically savvy. Figuring out how to get a group of strangers to collaborate on a website was a little more challenging. I noticed that there were only a couple of leaders in the group, and since I want to do well in the class I was one of them. We were lucky enough to have a computer geek on our team, which is great news! He is also one of the leaders. Now I just hope he will be able to continue with the technical support for the rest of us through out the project. He already has the website up and running but the rest of the group is lagging on getting registered on the website page... Oh well that is on them, I will just keep doing what I have to do and if I have to, I will poke them with a stick, ha ha, just kidding!

Hi my name is Michelle.  I am in  a online communications class and this is my first blog.